Being lost in thoughts can be a really bad thing, especially when you do it at the wrongest of times. It could also leave you depressed because most times you end up opening old wounds. Thinking can also be good, depending on what you are thinking of. If its something productive, that's awesome, or maybe you just want a replay of an exciting event you experienced or witnessed, or maybe a recap of your life, day, week or month so far. Most times we don't plan to be lost in thoughts, it just happens and we realize only when we have already fallen deep into it. I experienced deep thought today, i do everyday but this one stood out for a reason.
I was sitting in my office, almost done with work but I was awfully tired; its 3:18am and thank heavens what I was working on was very close to completion, I just couldn’t wait to finally introduce my upper lashes to the lower one. In other not to mess up all the work I’ve done, I decided to rest my head for a bit before I continued, but then I got lost in thoughts, surfing through the memories of my life experiences(not all bad though, some made me smile), time with friends-remembering the things I loved to do with them, realizing how long it has been since I last saw a person or two and why I haven’t done something as fun as that in ages and comparing then to now, analyzing how things have changed, how we have all changed. And then a quick flash back to the times I spent alone, the fun stuffs I did during my lone time, like painting, dancing, creating one thing or the other, jewelry making, drafting out plans, writing…then I paused, and I said it again in my head, “writing” whatever happened to my writing passion? Why and when did I stop, I have gone so long without doing it that I had almost forgotten that I could write; and at that moment I said to myself, why not write something here and now….. Yea now! Then I snapped out of my thoughts and rushed through my unfinished office work and quickly opened up a blank Microsoft word sheet, and then…it happened…I was completely blank, my thoughts and creativity to write were all gone,or so i thought...my head, my mind was as blank as the sheet before me…no, even the sheets had words and drawings above and around it, but I, I had……nothing!
I almost broke down in tears, sitting in my chair and staring right at the screen of my computer, I thought to myself, "I have lost it". As I moved my mouse to close the page, it suddenly hit me, a gift doesn’t just up and leave like that, it may be a little rusty, but it’s still there somewhere. Then I placed my fingers on the keyboard and the words began to pour, it was like I was reading it off a screen someplace else and retyping it onto mine. I wrote about so many things. I always like to write about myself, the things I have experienced and the thing that I am still experiencing or seeing around me or anything at all anyway. So I wrote, on and on I went -different articles, different poems; and the ideas just kept on flowing and my fingers kept on typing and the words kept on pouring.
I wrote several poems that faithful Friday, in the early hours of the morning, I also wrote some articles as well, I wrote about life, my life – a part of it though, then about twitter…hehehe, then about love, about family and then I also wrote this one, which is a recap of a sleepless night well spent. I do not know where the energy came from but I guess that’s what happens when you are doing what you love especially when you are good at it. i never realized how much i had missed writing, until my fingers touched the keyboard and started to move; forming up stories, real stories coming from me. So i say to you now, whatever positive thing you had passion for that you stopped for one reason or the other or for one person who turned out not to be worth it (besides, anyone who is irritated by your gift and wants you to stop it is not worth it in the first place and shouldn’t remain around you) you can still go back to it, refresh your memory on it and restart, its still in you, it never left. You will be rusty but at least you are back doing what you love (as long as it positive and legal sha)
So that's just about it, my little night adventure that begun with me simply being lost in thoughts. But then if I end this now, you may say, “is that it?” well yeah, that’s it, what else do you think plays in my head anyways. I guess my thoughts didn’t wonder into the juicy stuffs about me this night but there’s always a next time…trust me, I hardly sleep so I will be lost in thoughts again, and who knows, maybe this time I’ll catch something nice to write about, maybe the person I’m crushing on, or the person I’m in love with or the last person I killed (ok, just kidding…lol). In any case, know that I will be writing more and I hope you’ll like them.